Princess or Pauper. Success is in the eye of the beholder

To judge someones motivation, their qualifications is to discern their fruit and the fruit of their work.

Are they good or not so good?

Do they serve up what they are spoonfeeding or is it all smoke and mirrors.

“Don’t judge.”

“Your lowering our vibes by looking at our intent”

“Only haters judge”

These rebuttals are said flippantly by people with nothing real and genuine to offer another other than a temporary dopamine rush of promised life changing results to last FOREVER.

Not always, to discern someones intent is WISDOM.

It is self love to discern.

 

I do believe in Law of Attraction, because I know there is a spirit realm and I know that what we dwell on in our hearts and speak forth, comes to be so.  The Spirit realm works on genuine faith.  Our hearts prayer.

It is utter bullshit to victim blame someone saying they “attracted their misfortune” Yes words have power, every faith, religion, mysticism warns the same. The intention experiment by Lynn Taggert supports the same theory, scientifically.  I do love my science.

But some things are beyond our reach and control.  We are not responsible for the selfish or disgraceful actions of another.  We are not responsible for how they feel, or behave.  We are responsible for how we feel and behave.  By all means look at every gremlin in your heart, every stronghold or lie that might have been unconsciously programmed to your inner child, either young or last week.  Speak health, life, success, healing and love over everyone especially yourself.

The spirit realm runs by faith.  That is why witches do spells and rituals, it is a faith raising move to charge that battery.  The ritual/spell itself has no power.  Just the faith it inspires.  However discerning the motivation of a 20 yr old with no life experience who promises that you can turn dog feces into gold by the magic of positive speech, is full of the proverbial shit.

I do not think anyone with good sense would hire a little girl who just started menstruating not long ago, to be their “coach”  and teach them how to masturbate with the moon or to have better sex.

You are TWENTY YRS OLD, everything is amazing at that age, especially the sex and your body and his are going to be picture worthy and chances are the worst thing that has happened to you is your parents threatened to cut off your trust fund so you became an overnight guru.   Seen a few of those in my studies of this work.

Feeding flattery and stroking the ego of the tired masses of mostly women, who forgot how to love themselves, how to feel sexy,  how to even laugh or smile.  That is great if it works but the reason it works is because the “popular” girl is giving you the time of day.  Newsflash you are paying her 2000 dollars a session.  When she has no fucking life experience to speak of or any education in the topic at all.  She is just a stand in for the cheerleader who snubbed you back in 1975.

I would not trust a woman child who might make more than my car cost a month, but has no life experience.  All you are doing is paying for permission that you will not give yourself.  Because this outside authority (who is no authority at all) she just got to the drinking age for fucks sake, has given you permission to love yourself and to finally put yourself first.

Most of the women in this field, look like they are auditioning for The Bachelor.  Look at me in my bikini, laughing and jumping in water.  You can too!  Peep at me while I am on a boat or a luxury looking hotel pouting and looking pensive.

I saw one wearing a baggy sweatshirt and then talking about how now she is a weightloss guru because she lost weight.  No, your clothes lost weight, not you.  Defrauding and feeding on peoples pain angers me.   Befriending them and whoring yourself out trying to sell them a system to “change their lives” when its a cookie cutter thing you do not personally tailor to them at all.  Hunting down the wounded promising them relief from their pain if they just hand over their bank accounts, acting like vultures and hyenas chasing bleeding antelope.  Disgraceful.

I wish someone would just get them to see the truth.

Your poor self worth is craving these totems of success to prove you are valuable because only valuable people have money and take pictures of themselves in bikinis.

How about one who says.. “I was there.  I was in the gutter emotionally and I never thought I would smile again… I went years without laughing, I Forgot how.  Then one day, I healed, let me show you how.”  That is the woman I would trust and find of value.

Or one who has had a real loss of a baby or parent or marriage, suffered a sickness beyond cramps.  Who says, “it is possible to get something glorious and get gold out of those dog feces. I will walk through hell with you til we get to the other side.”

It is possible to genuinely laugh and smile and have your hearts desires. Even though right now you just wish to hide in bed and never leave.  Crazy is a luxury only afforded the wealthy.

There is a way up and to overcome this with grace and dignity.  To uncover treasure in yourself and to make your situation a healing journey, despite being in the gutter, feeling like there is no way out and you have no fucking identity anymore because your narcissistic ex (remember I use that term as a descriptor of a cluster of loosely grasped traits) smothered all of the love out of you and gaslighted you so fucking much you do not know which way is up.

Who says “I have been there, I know how to get past it and to thrive and not just survive after your whole fucking world comes crashing down.”

Those are the “mentors, strategists, consultants, coaches (ugh ) that I would look up to and be honored to know.

The others are just little girls with flattering words playing on the subjective enthrallment their closely guarded prestigious identity of false iconship and grasping hamfisted cheering while indulging their ego glorifying status symbol preening is casting on the broken and hurting.

I personally think it makes them fucking ghouls.

 

Faith might move mountains but having something genuine to offer sustains it.  Don’t go into this work if you do not have the stomach for it, to hold someones hand and let them get snotty tears all over your silk blouse.  If you do not have the life experience but just have the pretty words you are as useless as the prom queen status symbol spell you are casting upon them.

If you do not help someone really look inward, to ask WHY, to find themselves after the broken shattered pieces of their heart slice their fingers and they are bleeding out just trying to put themselves back together, To lay to rest their past boogeymen beyond that bullshit of “you brought this misfortune on yourself so take full responsibility, repeat these magic words after me and all will be better”

No.  Magic words are a band aid.  They are not a real cure.

To be cured is to look inward, to ask why, not to just say I release you.  It does not fucking work.  Sometimes to be cured is to stand up to your bullies.  To write letters sharing the fallout of their actions and to make someone accountable for their wrongs.

How will they know what they do is harmful if nobody tells them and instead fervently repeats magic words, burning pieces of paper and then taking their 443rd selfie of the day for that sweet high of external validation.

 

How about pointing out that external validation is unhealthy.  Instead of the trite, insipid cheer of “baby you ROCK,  you have so got this girlfriend”

Why not teach about learned helplessness and the keys to being resilient and truly healing? Teach about getting in touch with your inner child, teach and nurture instead of the pithy bullshit I see all over in my study of this work.

Is there any real substance to any of you? Sure you are rolling in dough, Good for you sweethearts but your faces are very broken and wounded themselves.  Your spirits feel lonely, anxious and brittle.  Brittle is the word I keep seeing for you ladies.

Stop selling false promises to make the almighty dollar and work on your own souls first, then maybe you will have the life experience to offer real healing, genuine bliss and success.

Success means different things to different people.

In Europe I was working on plans for a project that would have brought in projected millions, a brewery, pub, renovated cabins into a year round B and B for high tech couples with money.  It would have featured my art and sculptures and various things to bring tourists coupled with a year round tourism industry of a festival of some kind once a month and beer, cheese and fudge.  I made really delicious American german style fudge.

We ate filet mignon twice a week.  I once sailed a yacht up and down a fjord for two days while he worked.

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I was not happy nor was my life a success.  Despite a lot of disposable income and a beautiful property.  My exhusband actually owned a MOUNTAIN with waterfalls.

My best time was just sitting at the barn (this massive mall sized building) on the stone steps talking to the ancient trees and watching the bats at dusk.

I lost everything and I found my peace, my happiness, my love, joie de vivre.

I had a 3200 square ft property in Florida with two massive buildings, an inground pool surrounded by a beautiful lanai and a two story treehouse.  A parrot, a collection of lizards and a dragon, cats, fish.  It was a work of art.

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I now live in a much more modest property with a beautiful roofed deck I built myself alongside the most amazing person I have ever met while cracking jokes, drinking Bud and getting filthy, mud covered, cement covered, bruised. Having the best time of my life.  Working with him and getting squalid beats the yacht, the fjords, the filet mignon hands down.

No pool, no treehouse, no status, no prestige and I went from a beer snob to drinking Bud.  My life is everything I ever wanted and more.

Yes our house is smaller but now I have a tight knit relationship with my grandmother (who on my old property lived in the other wing of the house and I only saw to go out with for lunch every so often) We had no relationship to speak of at all.  And we brought into our motley crue my business partner Rio.  We snark and bitch and tease each other all day long, go out for meals together and to films and just have an amazing time. A time I would not be having had I still lived in my property where I could hole up in my quarters and never leave my side of the house except to swim early mornings.

Nor I did not have that in Europe, I had a cold, critical husband who married me hoping for an heir and wanting a trophy wife and cover for his true leanings sexually that he had never had the chutzpah to act upon.  I had no idea, I just thought he was “European”

He once measured my face to make sure I was in the golden ratio.  Cut my hair from my butt to my shoulders without permission when I asked for help to even up the back b a half inch.  He took off 16 inches and told me I looked classier.  Talked down to me like I was his western European mail order maid and was very perturbed pregnancy and subsequent miscarrying screwed up my metabolism for a season.  I am back to normal now.

When he went crackers and I was sent back to the States in first class clutching my cat, I thought my life was over.  I was terrified because my less than honorable family had my property in florida and I never would have vacated the children.

I asked him at the airport.  “Are we done?” because if we are, this guy just asked me to dinner and hes adorable.  Now is your chance to be rid of me.  With no hard feelings at all.”

I was joking.  I would never get with a stranger, He had asked me to dinner but I told him I needed to call my husband.  My ex was so angry that I was already being propositioned he pretended he was meeting me in the States.  Begged me to be patient with him and to honor our vows.

When I decided to heal from him, I watched American Psycho for the first time.  I cried a lot.  It was so similar to my story.  What resonated most was his affair with Samantha Mathis because she was so “perfect” looking he just had to make it work.

So these young women might sell success as being rolling in dough, good for them, I am sure their flimflam and false promises will make them loads of money and leave a lot of women devastated and looking for the next thing to sink their lonely bank accounts into as the fountain of youth.

True success is self actualization, not needing the external validation of an aging cheerleader and knowing thyself, your unique gifts and talents.  Being in touch with your inner child who looks at the world curiously and with wonder.  No matter what may transpire,  She giggles, smiles and plays despite overcoming great tragedy and walking through hell on earth.

It IS possible.

~Nola

 

 

 

 

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